The day finally arrived. You are now wearing the same wedding dress your mother wore on her wedding, in the same church, for the same reason – love. I can’t help but to be mesmerized on how beautiful you are now, wearing that white dress. It’s weird because you want the wedding ceremony scheduled at night. You once told me that you want to dance with the right man under the moonlight after your wedding. Tonight, that wish will come true.
The moon reminds me of the first time we met in the dark alley beside the school. I was puffing my cigarette, when you grabbed and stomped it on the pavement, crushed it until the little ember died right before my very eyes. I was clueless on why you did such a thing. I don’t even know you. You wasted my cigarette only to find out that you have mistaken me for someone else— your little brother. From that day onward, I don’t need any kind of nicotine to be high. I don’t need any other ember to light my world. I don’t need to puff anything for I am saving my every breath to love you.
Standing at the door of the church, you began to walk slowly. I was there standing inches away from you, wearing the black tuxedo I bought for this unforgettable occasion, looking at the most beautiful thing God has ever created. As you walk down the aisle, everything was in slow motion. And so, I took the time to stare at you. The veil cannot hide the natural beauty of your face. Your almond-shaped teary eyes, your pointed nose , your cherry red lips, your light brown straight hair , your two little ears with dangling earrings. Some angels don’t have wings or halo. I said to myself.
Then, our eyes met for a couple of seconds. I see no doubts, just love; no uncertainty, just pure excitement. You continue to walk towards my destination. My heart beats faster. Then it skips a beat. I don’t know but I’m really nervous. I started to perspire heavily. It’s as if my heart wants to get out of my chest. Suddenly, you are in front of me. You look at me for a while; after which, you gave me a smile I would never forget. How I wish I can capture that moment. How I wish I can stop the time and kiss you in front of everyone. But it is just a dream. It is just a wishful thinking. After that smile, you headed towards your real destination —- to your groom. A few more steps, you are already in his arms. I have no intention to stay any longer, but I froze in my seat with regrets. I should have fought for you before. If only I can turn back time… If only I was brave enough… If only….
The wedding is over.
It’s 2 am.
I am standing in the dark alley where we first met, smoking the last cigarette I have in my pocket.
I am still hoping that you will come and save me from suffocating my soul.
Maybe what I am asking for is a little too much.
Maybe I have to forget you…. Or maybe I shouldn’t.
I’m not sure what to do.
All I want is this pain to end.
I rest my back in the pole of the lamp-post.
The light began to flicker.
Suddenly my world turned dark.