One night I dreamt I was placed in the edge of a building. I look down and see how high am I. People look like bunch of ants . Cars look like a piece of rubber eraser and buildings look like a piece of paper.
Fear starts to enter my nerves.
Although the high altitude provide a cooling sensation, I still began to perspire heavily. I looked behind hoping to see someone who can offer me help. Unfortunately no one was there. I started to shake in fear , thus , lose my balance.
I actually don’t know what to do. I am hopeless.
I asked myself…
Will I jump??
Or will I wait for help??
I found no answer to my questions. ..
I know I need to do an immediate and right decision, but I don’t have the courage to make one. There’s no more room for any mistake now. My shaking legs soon will make me fall and divide my body into pieces. Absurd as it may sound I began to think of flying. Doubt , as always, intruded me once again. I have no wings to fly and surely gravity will just make me fall. I breathe deeply as if it’s the last thing I could do while I’m alive. I closed my eyes and in an instant I had flashbacks. Happy moments, sad one, good and bad things I’ve done. I know this is not the right time to reflect. But I did. I look the person I become.
I carefully evaluate myself as if I have the ample of time to do so. I was surprised to see how weak I was. That my faith was overpowered by my doubt in times of difficulty. That I am pretending to have no regrets but continue to live my life full of burden and shame . That somehow deep within me I wanted to blame someone for everything, but after weighing things I just ended up blaming myself . I created my life , I made my choice , and I am the only one who held responsible for my actions. If my life is broken, it is never too late to fix things . Nobody said it will be easy, but we all know that it will be worthwhile.
I open my eyes and realized that I was thinking too much . My reasoning hinders my faith. My logical mind will never grasp GOD’s wisdom. I finally understand that when knowledge stop faith begins. Believe in God because He is God. Believe in Him because there is nothing impossible with him. And so, I began to pray….
Suddenly I was out in the edge of the building and found myself lying comfortably on my bed – bursting in tears. A realization comes to me. The dream I dreamt wasn’t a dream after all. Maybe this were the times I was on the edge of life. Most of the time I was troubled and afraid of the unknow, but everything has changed now. I decided not to live on that dream or allow me to say “nightmare” ever again.
One night I dreamt I was placed in the edge of a mountain. I look down and see how high am I. I smiled confidently , close my eyes and started to pray.